You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
