Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
