My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
