First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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