So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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