I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
