im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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