Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
