im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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