East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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