Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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