Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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