..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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