Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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