its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
