so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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