u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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