That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
