SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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