Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
