Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
