She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize