I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
