We won't sleep together?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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