we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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