i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
please come you make the beer taste better
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
