so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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