Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
