Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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