i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
