He kissed a someone with a penis
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
