forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
