I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
