Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
