She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
