Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
This couple is walking their pig around campus
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
