You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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