Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
