I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
