I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my phone needs a breathalizer
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
false alarm, still single
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
