nut hugger
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
