TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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