so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
