Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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