I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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