I got chris browned last night
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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