How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
