She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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