I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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