If that was your dad, he is hot
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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