Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
