You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
